the messes that i've made

complete chaos.

i want to tell you some stuff.
at the same time i know
people do not come here to
read what i have to say,
because i suddenly felt the need to share
and the need
to express myself.

i understand them.
i am human too.

but what about our voices?
what about words?

can it be that we
are so addicted to all
the visual information
we get

that we have become
ashamed of silence?

about this blog.
i really love and need this place of mine.
neglecting this need to share is not an option.
(sorry, melancholy is taking over)
but it feels
like it's drifting away,
sometimes.

and it's like it has
become this place people visit
to have a quick look at the images
and leave.
(with nothing.)

although it's quite annoying,
i want things to mean something,
i want them to speak
and i think i am afraid of mediocrity
and that that's what this blog
has become.
or maybe always was.

(sarcasm is taking over melancholy...)

i don't know,
it's just stupid.
so many things are stupid.
and i always love to tell
people about the things i find stupid.
i'm such a pessimist. :)



THE STUPID LIST:

1. people telling me to be positive. UGH.

2. i hate change and everything keeps changing all the time and that is the only thing
that will never change.

3. if i brush my hair, i look like a poodle.

4. people who say they are spontaneous. (i'll decide for myself, thank you.)

5. magazines with celebrities on the cover. i never buy them.

6. celebrities in general.

7. the fact i know the meaning of LBD.

8. the hideous 'shoes' people seem to love these days.
i cannot take them seriously. i mean, MOST women wearing them look like ducks or drunks.

9. LBD in stead of little black dress.

10. american television. tyra banks & jokes you see coming 10 minutes before.

11. television in general.

12. commercials on tv. why oh why do they show a pair of strangely round breasts
in a commercial for low fat cheese?

13. annoying words you cannot 'live' without: beautiful, inspiration, style...

14. when people don't understand my jokes.

15. it is a possibility people do not LIKE my jokes. that hurts.

16. satisfaction does not exist (anymore). we want more.

17. nice images with text in them.

18. bags of crisps are only filled for one quarter.

19. men in skinny jeans. some things i do not want to get used to.

20. originality. i think it's one of the most overrated things.

21. men who want you to think they're intelligent (when they're obviously not.)

22. OMG.

23. we always say: i haven't got the time. no, you don't TAKE the time.

24. spiritual books. at the moment, i am so done with them.
they make me think, while that's exactly the thing i am trying to get rid of.

25. when silence feels uncomfortable.

26. i am very honest with myself and i criticize myself a lot.
but i am afraid i do not have the intention to actually do something about it.

27. some people i do not see often always tell me very enthusiastically how tall i already am.
(excuse me? i haven't grown since more than ten years. but thank you anyway.)

28. opinions. overrated too. we must realize not everyone is dying to listen to our
fantastic, meaningful opinion.

29. most magazines are filled with way too many words.

30. one size (fits all). oh wow! that's so practical!

31. we are running away all the time. from ourselves.
but we do not realize anymore.

32. commenting on a post: where have you got that picture from?
where has politeness gone? you can at least say hello first.

33. not seeing the beauty in the ugly.

34. taking things too seriously. like fashion or sports.
life. ourselves.

35. obsessing. i am really obsessing over my own obsessions.

36. we think we need to make excuses all the time. don't.
it only takes time and how can we ever excuse for the fact that we have been born?

37. chick lit. those 'books' and the ugliness of the word.

38. people who never listen. they only talk.

39. denying our own loneliness.

40. the ridiculous amount of possibilities and the fact that
escaping reality isn't one of them.


please be spontaneous and make this list longer! ;)
criticize me, if you feel like it.
or agree with me. or do nothing.

and,
because i am a pussy
who reallyreally cares a lot
what other people might
think or say:

all of the above words are personal
feelings or opinions,
and should not be taken too seriously.
(but do not underestimate
them either.) ;)